Arguing with myself
Its nice to have a mechanism to somewhat look at a snapshot of myself from a year a go or so and measure how stupid (or not) I was in what I was thinking or intending to do at the time. Until I devise a form of time travel, I won't get a more accurate luxury.
The only thing I can reflect on is the fact that, when you think you have a handle of thing and when you feel you've achieved maximum control over your affairs, life comes up and throws a virtual wrench at your finely tuned engine. Someone will die, something will get damaged, you will get fired, you'll fall ill, your car will break down, or in my case, you'll face an extinction level event in the form of an atmospheric phenomenon that will threaten to destroy everything you've worked for.
Last year after a consistent streak of success, the place I live got hit by a Cat 5 hurricane that virtually decimated my and everyone else livelihood. Fortunately after 6 months of the hardships that come with having no electricity or data communications, I am back to somewhat a level of normality and daily predictability.
Its pointless to describe what life is when something so drastic happens. Because I don't want to remember. Unless you have the means to continue your life elsewhere (or have a lot of money), you simply have to pause life and all your plans to deal with the matter at hand every day. Fortunately, I say, the worst thing that happened is that 2 of my businesses got severely affected. And I say that's the worst because anything else meant basic suitability or life threatening consequences, which is a given.
Only a situation like that can force you to rethink what you're doing and why. What's the point of all your daily efforts and if they will really amount to the reward and outcome you seek. My plans of passive income were predictably foiled and threatened by a single uncontrollable event. Fortunately pausing meant I had time to think and entertain other more outrageous trains of though and more importantly take provisions for the likely chance that this happens again (it will).
In my daily considerations I kept thinking of trying to figure out how to keep my goal of passive income while trying to decide if I should revitalize my now halted ventures or come up with something new. Something new won and I'm happy to say that I have kept my end of the deal with my past self towards increasing passive more income, in spite of facing life threatening destruction and economic ruin.
My new endeavor is very risky and aggressive but I decided I'm willing to die on that hill. I will take all necessary precautions but my future self will have to be willing to forgive me if this fails.
Everything at this point is an attempt to replace employment. Which I been fortunate to keep all this time despite all the destruction. Lots of businesses were affected, lots of people ended up unemployed. But, while most people feel that being employed is the way to live the rest of their lives, I think that's a good way to declare yourself dead way before its time. Employment was a good model for many decades (for society) and for me (for many years) but I think we need to come up with a better way to earn our keep in society and distribute better our resources.
Employment seems like just another step in a long life of confinement designed to keep the poor (most people) in check. You go to school (prison) for 12 years to be taught how to think (and not very good at it I might add) to then go willingly to another costly prison that they make you pay (or willingly ensure lifelong debt) to be more rigorously taught how to think. Finally you're supposed to give your most valuable thing (time / aka your life itself) to someone else for the rest of your life to make them rich.
Employment was good all this years for learning many things and when I cared and thought that knowing things was important. While being knowledgeable earns you money, it doesn't let you live life. Hell, most people don't ever get a chance to. Pop out a few kids and boom its over. At least you can pay off a mortgage or a student loan if you manage to earn more income quickly over time. But those spawns are lifelong debts that... whatever. Opinions about kids are never ending downwards spirals of discussions that are neither right nor wrong and I'm not here for that.
While my obsession with leaving employment and writing these cryptic posts might border on the cultish, I assure you, I don't mean it as such. You can go take a look at the self improvement industry full of nutters jacking about starting your business etc. I simply just want to move on to the next goal. I had my fill. I conquered employment and corporate ladders. I simply want to try to live life another way. One that doesn't involve leaving 2 hours of your life every day to traffic jams plus 9-10 more hours 5 days a week confined to an office looking at a monitor screen under florescent lightning while breathing stale conditioned air. That is no way to live. You might as well die now, if that's what the rest of your life looks like.
It sounds drastic, but this is one of the great struggles of our generation. Not facing starvation, or a great war. Knowledge is a curse, in a sense. Thinking too much about how things work makes you question and challenge them. But doesn't mean you have a way to fix or get around the problem. Just more questions.
Anyway, the only reason I'm taking the time to write all this now is because I'm bored at work. I know what I need to do and to keep doing it but I can't fast forward time so in the meantime I'm bored. I hope by the time I get around to write one of this again I already have achieved the next milestones I've set out. It worked last time, again, in spite of the catastrophic events. So lets see how that goes.
The only thing I can reflect on is the fact that, when you think you have a handle of thing and when you feel you've achieved maximum control over your affairs, life comes up and throws a virtual wrench at your finely tuned engine. Someone will die, something will get damaged, you will get fired, you'll fall ill, your car will break down, or in my case, you'll face an extinction level event in the form of an atmospheric phenomenon that will threaten to destroy everything you've worked for.
Last year after a consistent streak of success, the place I live got hit by a Cat 5 hurricane that virtually decimated my and everyone else livelihood. Fortunately after 6 months of the hardships that come with having no electricity or data communications, I am back to somewhat a level of normality and daily predictability.
Its pointless to describe what life is when something so drastic happens. Because I don't want to remember. Unless you have the means to continue your life elsewhere (or have a lot of money), you simply have to pause life and all your plans to deal with the matter at hand every day. Fortunately, I say, the worst thing that happened is that 2 of my businesses got severely affected. And I say that's the worst because anything else meant basic suitability or life threatening consequences, which is a given.
Only a situation like that can force you to rethink what you're doing and why. What's the point of all your daily efforts and if they will really amount to the reward and outcome you seek. My plans of passive income were predictably foiled and threatened by a single uncontrollable event. Fortunately pausing meant I had time to think and entertain other more outrageous trains of though and more importantly take provisions for the likely chance that this happens again (it will).
In my daily considerations I kept thinking of trying to figure out how to keep my goal of passive income while trying to decide if I should revitalize my now halted ventures or come up with something new. Something new won and I'm happy to say that I have kept my end of the deal with my past self towards increasing passive more income, in spite of facing life threatening destruction and economic ruin.
My new endeavor is very risky and aggressive but I decided I'm willing to die on that hill. I will take all necessary precautions but my future self will have to be willing to forgive me if this fails.
Everything at this point is an attempt to replace employment. Which I been fortunate to keep all this time despite all the destruction. Lots of businesses were affected, lots of people ended up unemployed. But, while most people feel that being employed is the way to live the rest of their lives, I think that's a good way to declare yourself dead way before its time. Employment was a good model for many decades (for society) and for me (for many years) but I think we need to come up with a better way to earn our keep in society and distribute better our resources.
Employment seems like just another step in a long life of confinement designed to keep the poor (most people) in check. You go to school (prison) for 12 years to be taught how to think (and not very good at it I might add) to then go willingly to another costly prison that they make you pay (or willingly ensure lifelong debt) to be more rigorously taught how to think. Finally you're supposed to give your most valuable thing (time / aka your life itself) to someone else for the rest of your life to make them rich.
Employment was good all this years for learning many things and when I cared and thought that knowing things was important. While being knowledgeable earns you money, it doesn't let you live life. Hell, most people don't ever get a chance to. Pop out a few kids and boom its over. At least you can pay off a mortgage or a student loan if you manage to earn more income quickly over time. But those spawns are lifelong debts that... whatever. Opinions about kids are never ending downwards spirals of discussions that are neither right nor wrong and I'm not here for that.
While my obsession with leaving employment and writing these cryptic posts might border on the cultish, I assure you, I don't mean it as such. You can go take a look at the self improvement industry full of nutters jacking about starting your business etc. I simply just want to move on to the next goal. I had my fill. I conquered employment and corporate ladders. I simply want to try to live life another way. One that doesn't involve leaving 2 hours of your life every day to traffic jams plus 9-10 more hours 5 days a week confined to an office looking at a monitor screen under florescent lightning while breathing stale conditioned air. That is no way to live. You might as well die now, if that's what the rest of your life looks like.
It sounds drastic, but this is one of the great struggles of our generation. Not facing starvation, or a great war. Knowledge is a curse, in a sense. Thinking too much about how things work makes you question and challenge them. But doesn't mean you have a way to fix or get around the problem. Just more questions.
Anyway, the only reason I'm taking the time to write all this now is because I'm bored at work. I know what I need to do and to keep doing it but I can't fast forward time so in the meantime I'm bored. I hope by the time I get around to write one of this again I already have achieved the next milestones I've set out. It worked last time, again, in spite of the catastrophic events. So lets see how that goes.
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